Motherhood has had me in the trenches, there are days that are tough and some that were tiring but the good days, the days that fill my heart with warmth and pride far outweighs the "not-so-good" days.
If you have been following me (although I have not been fairly consistent), but still if you have you will know that almost a year ago, my life changed for the better. I gave birth to the most beautiful princess. And while I would never trade this moments for anything, my passion for writing and creating Vlogs have been on the back bench collecting dust. I never seem to have the time for the things I used to love until I realized I was expecting the time that was always at my disposal pre-baby, would somehow suffice in the midst of my day and I would be able to do a 4~5hours deep work to achieve productivity.
Writing this now and I'm laughing at myself! Fairy tale!
I have help for the major things. House chores, shopping, etc because taking care of a child/children is a full time work and cannot be outsourced but still, caring for a child/children is DEMANDING.
Say thank you to a mother you know today, these people are super humans.
I've learned that if I have to achieve anything substantial, I have to do it in the midst of a noisy home because my baby is banging on some pots somewhere in the house, no excuses, just show up. It was hard in the beginning but giving God my day early in the morning, writing down the goal for the day, delegating duties and asking for a tonne of help gets me through. I have carved out time, intentionally to do the things I love, sometimes this means turning my phone off or giving up mindless scrolling on social media, either way, I'm better for it. This is to encourage anybody that you can do whatever you set your heart to do even as a new mum. But then if you know me, that is not the topic of today!
Navigating hatred or dislike for someone is a whole thing. Have you had an episode where you just do not like someone, either because they have done something really bad to you or you think they are really terrible people. I have been there and I want to tell you how I won this test! It's a test because God's word says:
"Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them."
1John 3:15
I decided I will not miss heaven because of a "feeling" and I went to God to show me what to do about it. Now I have different examples but I'll go right into how I was able to see these people or hear of them and feel love or empathy for them.
Firstly, I was so honest with God with how I felt and why. My quiet time is a treasure place for me because I get to spill the tea and hear my God speak to me. I remember crying so hard because this woman offended me so much and tried to destroy the relationship I had built with a loved one. She said malicious and untrue things about me and I thought then, "This lady is canceled! In my books" and I meant it because when I heard about something unfortunate that had happened to her, I knew deep within my heart, I said something in the line of "What goes around comes back around but this one is fassssst!". I talked about her to someone else too and I remember the holy spirit convicting me there. When I talked about her I reminded my friend at the time what she did to me, pulled out receipts and told them what recently happened to her. When my friend left, the holyspirit pointed out to me that I had deep dislike for this person. And went ahead to show me 1John 3:15
Hmmmmm. See eh, this was tough. I went into my prayer room with my receipts and the Lord told me to do as he would do. Ehhhh! You say? I thought you're still working on me?
I tried, I said the words "I truly forgive her and I let it go", but when I see or hear of this person, there was just this sinking feeling in my heart. I asked the lord how I could get rid of this dislike, and he showed me. What I'm about to tell you WORKS.
First thing I did was to make a prayer plan for this woman, see eh All the evil voices were telling me this is crazy,but I persisted. I also asked the holy spirit to give me the right prayer to pray over her and you will be amazed at the things I was praying about! The AMAZING thing is, as I prayed my heart softened towards her and I wanted to pray more.I was so concerned about her growth, her success and I genuinely wanted to see things work for her.I prayed for her children and her husband. I blessed them sincerely. I didn't even know when the feeling in my heart disappeared, I just know that when the opportunity came to do something good for her, I did it without thinking.
Pray for whoever has wronged you or who you cannot seem to shake off your chest.
Second thing I did was use GOOD to overcome evil. I know I imagined SO MANY WAYS I could have shamed this woman, so many ways to "do back" but I did not. Instead, when shopping for the month, I got something nice for her loved one. I stopped talking about what she did and it actually stopped coming to my mind. All I just wanted to do was please God. Now, this part was so tough, but I did it because it is more blessed to give. Always will be. I spoke to her respectfully, I stopped acting as if something had happened. To cut it short, I just fixed my eyes on my Jesus. Unforgiveness, dislike and hatred holds you back more than the object of your focus.
Do good to those that hurt you.
Last thing I did and still do is to empathize. One thing I know is, hurt people hurt people. You can never pour from an empty cup, I could see that issues unrelated to me were going on with her and I prayed genuinely for them. I could see because i prayed for her. See, when people are unhappy with their life, jealous, insecure or have inferiority complex, they treat people poorly. It's not good and you do not have to condone it (I don't) but seeing that made me pray for them specifically. Instead of taking offense and keeping iniquity in my heart, I saw the enemy for what he's trying to do to a child of God and I rebuked it. I remember asking God to fill her heart with his love and to meet her exactly where she needs it. I know God heard my prayers. Most importantly, I am GLAD that those emotions in my heart, have been completely released to God.
Its not always about you. Half the time, people treat you unfairly because of how they feel about themselves or their lives.
Since becoming a mother, I've learned that just knowing the word is not enough. Knowing , believing and DOING is what gives you a victorious life, I truly believe that I'm still a work in progress but jealousy, hatred and unforgiveness are areas that the devil no longer holds over me!
I will see you guys in a few days with another post.
Love always, ❤️
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