It took me a while to come up with a title for this post. Truth is, I didnt even have a title, I just started writing what came to mind. I love writing and I'm all about consistency but I needed to take this time out to figure out why I decided to own a blog and what the true purpose was, which explains why I've been off the radar for five months.
I finally figured it out.
I'm passionate about a lot of things. Some of which are, ''family, skincare, love, relationships, work and health'' and I will be writting about these things but I want my life, my experiences, my truths and failures cut across these mentioned subjects to help someone out there. Sometimes, I look back on my 20year old self and I would have prefered I had a memo that would have guided me better but this blog wouldn't be in exsistence if that were the case. I have also found that while I am still in my 20s, I still need a memo and soon enough because I will be in my 30s in about 3years time.
Everyone would appreciate a guideline but that's not what today is about.
Today I will be talking about living according to societal standards and stereotypes.
We live in a society that has tricked us into beliving that there is a certain acceptable time for everything. A society that has created some certain ''norms'' and dared to choke it down our throats as acceptable. If by some chance you go contrary to or question the rules by which some things became ''acceptable'' or ''normal'', you would be given the eye or worse seen as an outcast or misfit.
This hurts.
The average human wants to be accepted and given the nod of approval. A lot of times, some individuals believe they have risen above this plague but in a very subtle way, they are still in this uncomfortable web which could be seen in the choices they make and what drives them. Sometimes this pressure is right within your family. It's like there is never a way out.
What if I told you that the only approval you need is God's approval. Nothing else matters and he approved of you a long time ago by giving his only son Jesus Christ in exchange for your life so that those that believe will be set free and live a life of peace.
Let me get straight to the point.
Growing up, I believed the same lies. Lies that I needed to be married at a certain age. I needed to have my kids at a certain age. I should have gotten my masters at a certain age. Worse, that at a certain age I would be too old to achieve some things. I needed to have my entire life figured out before thirty. If I didn't own a car, I was a failure. I needed to look all put together so society does not know I'm having problems at home. Oh... and also the kind of man to marry and the most prestigious of careers to pursue inorder to look like the real deal!
My list would have been endless but fortunately I don't believe any of these things so I do not remember all of them but I'm almost certain you have been told some as well.
I need you to know that all these things do not matter. I am a living testimony.
You do not have to have your entire life figured out at a certain age. You can have babies at fourty. You can decide to have your masters at fifty-five. Every single rule laid down according to societal standards are just a bunch of lies and exagerrated misconceptions. You can have three kids and still start out your career. It all starts with you.
Growing up I always wanted to run away. Away from the circumstances surrounding my home at the time which did not encourage my welbeing as a teenage girl going into adulthood. My mum was always so focused on the issues at home and my Dad was always either upset or tired. I sort love and validation from all angles and worse it felt like nothing I did ever pleased my mother. She was a teenage wife and when she had me, she had no idea how to love or mother another human being. It got to a point that she was trying to live her life through me. So while this was happening, the people I sort after for love also had their own idea of how life should be and I soaked it all in. I was always on the run because it never felt right.
Right now, things are amazing in my family. Nothing short of peaceful and fabulous and I am totally my own woman in christ.
BUT
It took me running in to the arms of Jesus, studying God's word to know my worth, my purpose and whom I belong to for me to completely stop living according to societal standards.I had a series of failed relationships and got to the root of why I was always running away and almost practicing divorce before I even got married at the feet of christ. It took me letting God's love fill my heart for me to learn to forgive and live everyday one day at a time. I had to completly live for christ inorder for nothing to faze me or live according to the standards of anyone but God alone. I cannot even describe the peace I feel.
I am no longer running or in a hurry and somehow God keeps letting the lines fall in pleasant places for me. In the right season per time.
What drives you? Why do you do the things you do? Is it a desire to prove something or please somebody or is it to live a life that pleases God? Revelations 4: 11 says that “You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.” (NLT)
You were created to live for and please God. When you get this, pleasing the multitude will no longer be your focus. You will find that when you lovingly care for your children or record their milestones, you're doing it all in glory to God and his awesomeness in your life! Not to rub it in the face of a single friend of yours, I hope you catch my drift.
It was laid on my heart to tell you today that you do not need to please anyone but God. You do not need to live according to the expectations of society. Its okay if your focus is on your career instead of procreation. what is important is that you are doing it all for God's glory. We were created first to serve him and when you live for him, for an audience of one, you never get the complications of living to please people.
I've found that the reason people fight so hard to please humans and fit into societal norms is the fear of rejection or missing out, But God has not given us the spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love and a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7
I need to stress that your life will get way simpler if you do this. For example, you do not need to pay for a vacation that is not financially wise just to look good to society. You do not need to have a state of the art wedding if you cannot afford it just to please society. You honestly do not need to have kids or get married if you are not in the mental space yet amd just because everyone is doing it doesn't mean you have to be married and have a thriving career before 27. You can invite your friends to your house even if you have no furniture because these things do not define you. It is okay if you do not want to continue a family tradition especially if you do not have peace with it. Take it to God, speak the truth with love and peace and let it be. I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the gist😊
Live for an audience of one- Jesus- and see how every other thing dims in comparison.
You were made for more.
See you on wednesday with another post.
With love,
Ada.
💗💗
I finally figured it out.
I'm passionate about a lot of things. Some of which are, ''family, skincare, love, relationships, work and health'' and I will be writting about these things but I want my life, my experiences, my truths and failures cut across these mentioned subjects to help someone out there. Sometimes, I look back on my 20year old self and I would have prefered I had a memo that would have guided me better but this blog wouldn't be in exsistence if that were the case. I have also found that while I am still in my 20s, I still need a memo and soon enough because I will be in my 30s in about 3years time.
Everyone would appreciate a guideline but that's not what today is about.
Today I will be talking about living according to societal standards and stereotypes.
We live in a society that has tricked us into beliving that there is a certain acceptable time for everything. A society that has created some certain ''norms'' and dared to choke it down our throats as acceptable. If by some chance you go contrary to or question the rules by which some things became ''acceptable'' or ''normal'', you would be given the eye or worse seen as an outcast or misfit.
This hurts.
The average human wants to be accepted and given the nod of approval. A lot of times, some individuals believe they have risen above this plague but in a very subtle way, they are still in this uncomfortable web which could be seen in the choices they make and what drives them. Sometimes this pressure is right within your family. It's like there is never a way out.
What if I told you that the only approval you need is God's approval. Nothing else matters and he approved of you a long time ago by giving his only son Jesus Christ in exchange for your life so that those that believe will be set free and live a life of peace.
Let me get straight to the point.
Growing up, I believed the same lies. Lies that I needed to be married at a certain age. I needed to have my kids at a certain age. I should have gotten my masters at a certain age. Worse, that at a certain age I would be too old to achieve some things. I needed to have my entire life figured out before thirty. If I didn't own a car, I was a failure. I needed to look all put together so society does not know I'm having problems at home. Oh... and also the kind of man to marry and the most prestigious of careers to pursue inorder to look like the real deal!
My list would have been endless but fortunately I don't believe any of these things so I do not remember all of them but I'm almost certain you have been told some as well.
I need you to know that all these things do not matter. I am a living testimony.
You do not have to have your entire life figured out at a certain age. You can have babies at fourty. You can decide to have your masters at fifty-five. Every single rule laid down according to societal standards are just a bunch of lies and exagerrated misconceptions. You can have three kids and still start out your career. It all starts with you.
Growing up I always wanted to run away. Away from the circumstances surrounding my home at the time which did not encourage my welbeing as a teenage girl going into adulthood. My mum was always so focused on the issues at home and my Dad was always either upset or tired. I sort love and validation from all angles and worse it felt like nothing I did ever pleased my mother. She was a teenage wife and when she had me, she had no idea how to love or mother another human being. It got to a point that she was trying to live her life through me. So while this was happening, the people I sort after for love also had their own idea of how life should be and I soaked it all in. I was always on the run because it never felt right.
Right now, things are amazing in my family. Nothing short of peaceful and fabulous and I am totally my own woman in christ.
BUT
It took me running in to the arms of Jesus, studying God's word to know my worth, my purpose and whom I belong to for me to completely stop living according to societal standards.I had a series of failed relationships and got to the root of why I was always running away and almost practicing divorce before I even got married at the feet of christ. It took me letting God's love fill my heart for me to learn to forgive and live everyday one day at a time. I had to completly live for christ inorder for nothing to faze me or live according to the standards of anyone but God alone. I cannot even describe the peace I feel.
I am no longer running or in a hurry and somehow God keeps letting the lines fall in pleasant places for me. In the right season per time.
What drives you? Why do you do the things you do? Is it a desire to prove something or please somebody or is it to live a life that pleases God? Revelations 4: 11 says that “You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.” (NLT)
You were created to live for and please God. When you get this, pleasing the multitude will no longer be your focus. You will find that when you lovingly care for your children or record their milestones, you're doing it all in glory to God and his awesomeness in your life! Not to rub it in the face of a single friend of yours, I hope you catch my drift.
It was laid on my heart to tell you today that you do not need to please anyone but God. You do not need to live according to the expectations of society. Its okay if your focus is on your career instead of procreation. what is important is that you are doing it all for God's glory. We were created first to serve him and when you live for him, for an audience of one, you never get the complications of living to please people.
I've found that the reason people fight so hard to please humans and fit into societal norms is the fear of rejection or missing out, But God has not given us the spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love and a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7
I need to stress that your life will get way simpler if you do this. For example, you do not need to pay for a vacation that is not financially wise just to look good to society. You do not need to have a state of the art wedding if you cannot afford it just to please society. You honestly do not need to have kids or get married if you are not in the mental space yet amd just because everyone is doing it doesn't mean you have to be married and have a thriving career before 27. You can invite your friends to your house even if you have no furniture because these things do not define you. It is okay if you do not want to continue a family tradition especially if you do not have peace with it. Take it to God, speak the truth with love and peace and let it be. I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the gist😊
Live for an audience of one- Jesus- and see how every other thing dims in comparison.
You were made for more.
See you on wednesday with another post.
With love,
Ada.
💗💗
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