''A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body. Jealousy is like cancer in the bones'' (Proverbs 14:30NLT)
Few years ago, I was in a place where I let social media and any one else that ''looked'' like they had their life totally put together (better than me at the time) determine how my own life should go and how I totally felt about myself. This was so deep that I totally let a relationship that should not have made it past hello go beyond the first few dates because in my head, we looked good on the media together.. pssssh! Total bullocks!
I made money and bought some things I probably did not need at the time just to let some certain people know that I had ''arrived'' (as if they cared!😂). Every move I made, had some sort of agenda behind it and it was born out of a lot of comparison, insecurity and what nots! I remember when someone close to me got married and I decided that was the next agenda on my list, Just to prove that I could also be married if I chose to. Thank God Jesus literally took the wheel. When an acquaintance started a business and traveled out, I sought to make the very same move! I mean.... If you have been in this ship, you know how exhausting it can be!
So... this blessed day, I was laid out before the lord, Praying for a certain thing and the Lord said '' Why don't you pray that my will be done in this matter''. I stopped because I realized there and then that I was afraid and did not totally TRUST the lord with my life, because if I did, I would not let people set the tone by which I took my decisions. I would find contentment in the path that the Lord had me on and I would understand my worth in Christ. This will in turn give me astounding peace. Yelp!!! If you know me, you know I am very Logical about everything in my life, so I argued '' well lord, maybe if you answered my request I would not feel this way'' and the holyspirit led me to James 4:3 ''And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong''. Okay.... I was not pleased but pruning is one of the work of the holyspirit so I had to let this conviction go through me.
I told the holyspirt to teach me. Show me what to do. This prayer was answered with speed! it was like the lord was waiting for me to say it.
I began to water my grass because your grass is ONLY as green as you water it. I sat down to determine exactly what I wanted out of my life. I decided to know who I really am. What are the things I liked and What were deal breakers to me. When I started praying for a good job, it was born out of my need to build relationships and have much more income than I was getting at the time so I asked God to give me a place I would enjoy, grow, learn and have peace even though people around me were getting Jobs in International companies. God gave me the very best to FIT me. When I started praying for marriage, It was NOT born out of anything impure or a need to ''rub it into someone's face'', God answered my prayers and pruned me ( and continuously does so!) of every character that would hinder this from being a success. When I asked God for a car, it was purely a need to make transportation easier for myself, So he dealt with the tendency I had to be frivolous in my spending! (Friday groove anyone!...LOL!!) so I can achieve my goal. These are just a few examples. I basically got pruned of covetousness, comparison and jealousy. I got so comfortable in my journey and learned my worth in Christ by constantly drawing closer to HIM.
In summary, If you feel like everyone seems to be doing better than you,
Jealousy is indeed like cancer to the bones! There is nothing as frustrating as trying to live another person's blueprint and trying to meet up to some kind of standards that the ''comparison disease'' has set for you. I can tell because I have totally been there. There are tonnes of people in this maze right now and I hope that this piece will give you the perspective and peace you need.
💖💖💖
Few years ago, I was in a place where I let social media and any one else that ''looked'' like they had their life totally put together (better than me at the time) determine how my own life should go and how I totally felt about myself. This was so deep that I totally let a relationship that should not have made it past hello go beyond the first few dates because in my head, we looked good on the media together.. pssssh! Total bullocks!
I made money and bought some things I probably did not need at the time just to let some certain people know that I had ''arrived'' (as if they cared!😂). Every move I made, had some sort of agenda behind it and it was born out of a lot of comparison, insecurity and what nots! I remember when someone close to me got married and I decided that was the next agenda on my list, Just to prove that I could also be married if I chose to. Thank God Jesus literally took the wheel. When an acquaintance started a business and traveled out, I sought to make the very same move! I mean.... If you have been in this ship, you know how exhausting it can be!
So... this blessed day, I was laid out before the lord, Praying for a certain thing and the Lord said '' Why don't you pray that my will be done in this matter''. I stopped because I realized there and then that I was afraid and did not totally TRUST the lord with my life, because if I did, I would not let people set the tone by which I took my decisions. I would find contentment in the path that the Lord had me on and I would understand my worth in Christ. This will in turn give me astounding peace. Yelp!!! If you know me, you know I am very Logical about everything in my life, so I argued '' well lord, maybe if you answered my request I would not feel this way'' and the holyspirit led me to James 4:3 ''And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong''. Okay.... I was not pleased but pruning is one of the work of the holyspirit so I had to let this conviction go through me.
I told the holyspirt to teach me. Show me what to do. This prayer was answered with speed! it was like the lord was waiting for me to say it.
I began to water my grass because your grass is ONLY as green as you water it. I sat down to determine exactly what I wanted out of my life. I decided to know who I really am. What are the things I liked and What were deal breakers to me. When I started praying for a good job, it was born out of my need to build relationships and have much more income than I was getting at the time so I asked God to give me a place I would enjoy, grow, learn and have peace even though people around me were getting Jobs in International companies. God gave me the very best to FIT me. When I started praying for marriage, It was NOT born out of anything impure or a need to ''rub it into someone's face'', God answered my prayers and pruned me ( and continuously does so!) of every character that would hinder this from being a success. When I asked God for a car, it was purely a need to make transportation easier for myself, So he dealt with the tendency I had to be frivolous in my spending! (Friday groove anyone!...LOL!!) so I can achieve my goal. These are just a few examples. I basically got pruned of covetousness, comparison and jealousy. I got so comfortable in my journey and learned my worth in Christ by constantly drawing closer to HIM.
In summary, If you feel like everyone seems to be doing better than you,
- Get off social media for a while and begin to build yourself up. I started reading books, taking courses and praying more towards my future. I do not follow anyone that make me feel like my life needs an overhaul by the contents they spew out on their page! The bible said to ''guard my heart'' proverbs 4:23.
- Privacy is key. Not everything should be shared with the world.
- Take your desires to the Lord instead of feeling sorry for yourself. For example, If I need a vacation, I consciously search myself to know if it is indeed a desire to explore the world the lord created for my enjoyment or just a need to have nice pictures like ''Grace'' on Instagram! I pray for the ability to save towards it and then I do it.
- Spend more time doing things you love. For me it is swimming, reading, spending time with Loved ones etc rather than putting my nose in other people's business (guard that heart!)
- Have a relationship with God, the type you would have with a love interest. The closer I came to God, the more I got comfortable in my journey by understanding that my Chapter five does not mean I will not get to chapter twenty. There is a time for everything
- Don't stop TRYING. I try everything! If I fail in a project today, I get up tomorrow. God has given me a life to live in abundance.
- Do not do things to please people. Nothing I ever did was inspired by a need to impress anyone or make anyone feel bad about themselves. I Just keep tending to my vine and watering my grass.
- Get busy. You need a Job and it's not forthcoming? start a business! and research on ways to make yours so unique and see the lord blow your mind! (I've been there), take a course to boost your career, Find out what interests you. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.
- Be confident. Do you. I know I do not need to be like anyone. i'm so comfortable with who I am that I jokingly used to make statements like ''If the man God has for me is not comfortable with the fact that I hate makeup and Love to dress like a homeless person sometimes (shorts and tees y'all!!) then he ain't the one! LOL. I am very confident in who God created me to be. When I see lapses, even If someone points it out (In love of course, I have no patience for judgmental lots!) I adjust and ask the lord to help me out with whatever weakness it is without losing my sense of worth because the lord has made me a very stable person emotionally. You feel me?!
Ask the Lord to help you if you feel less. That is the lie of the devil. Then take intentional steps.
Jealousy is indeed like cancer to the bones! There is nothing as frustrating as trying to live another person's blueprint and trying to meet up to some kind of standards that the ''comparison disease'' has set for you. I can tell because I have totally been there. There are tonnes of people in this maze right now and I hope that this piece will give you the perspective and peace you need.
💖💖💖
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